Is my anger a problem?

Do you struggle with feeling anger often? Do you tend to inappropriately express that anger? Does your anger lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or hopelessness? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please know that there is hope! Anger is not necessarily a negative thing. It becomes a negative thing when it is felt too often and too powerfully.

Let’s first identify what anger is. Essentially, anger is a feeling or emotion that can range from mild annoyance to intense rage. Anger should not be confused with aggression since aggression is a behavior that is intended to cause harm to others (emotionally/physically) or damage to property.

Anger = Emotion

Aggression = Behavior

Okay, now that we have defined anger as a feeling and not a behavior, do you often find yourself feeling angry? If so, you may be struggling with the following two things:

• Identifying your true feelings: Think of anger as the tip of an iceberg that sits above the water. The anger is what those around us may see or sense. However, there are usually other underlining emotions that are a part of the iceberg that sit underneath the water. These feels are usually related to fear, hurt, or shame.

• Knowing how to express your feelings in a helpful way: In therapy we talk about the different ways we can express our anger. Some are helpful and some are harmful. We tend to express our feelings in any of the following five ways:

• Passive
• Passive-Aggressive
• Aggressive
• Assertive
• Accepting

In therapy we dig into the definitions of these forms of expression and we aim for the latter two (assertive or accepting).

You do not need to live another day feeling defeated and overcome by your anger. I encourage you to talk with a professional today to take control of your anger and live the life you were intended to live!

-Olivia

* This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical/mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical/mental health advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.